20 Reasons Estate Planning Lawyers Are Not Professional Athletes

November 4, 2011

Former Philadelphia Phillie John Kruk once said to a fan, “Lady, I’m not an athlete.  I’m a professional baseball player.”  Well, if you ever run into that same lady, you can also tell her these 20 reasons why estate lawyers can almost claim the same thing:

  1. Desks don’t fit well on the field of play.
  2. Debates about whether there should be an estate tax would be too disruptive during practice.
  3. Seemingly impossible but true:  much less privacy due to the estate lawyer’s popularity reaching even greater heights.
  4. Potential conflicts of interest preparing an estate plan for an opponent or referee.
  5. Clients would not appreciate hearing “I’ll finish your documents after the game.”
  6. Coaches get mad when their playbooks are replaced with revocable trust documents.
  7. Locker room “lawyer jokes” would engender resentment.
  8. Reporters would get really bored during post-game interviews.
  9. Players and coaches are far too distracted during the game to do effective data gathering.
  10. Too much confusion over the terms “passing”, “drafting” and “court”.
  11. Trash talking is much different in professional sports.
  12. There are only so many ways to compare the Internal Revenue Code and the West Coast Offense.
  13. Gatorade is pretty hard to get out of a suit.
  14. Estate lawyers can’t be traded to a team in a state where they aren’t licensed.
  15. Comments from teammates like “All I know is that a QTIP cleans my ears” or “that is a real Crummey trust” would get old very quickly.
  16. New meaning for the term “Swimsuit Issue”.
  17. Writing a trust in front of thousands of screaming fans is just not that easy.
  18. Stadium workers are quite reluctant to put estate planning pamphlets on every seat.
  19. Cheerleaders would have trouble because not much rhymes with “private annuity”.
  20. Estate planning lawyers tend to be shorter, slower and less athletic than the typical pro athlete, and this would likely create mismatches and disadvantages for the team signing them.
 20 Reasons Estate Planning Lawyers Are Not Professional Athletes
 20 Reasons Estate Planning Lawyers Are Not Professional Athletes


Scott R. Zucker, Esq. is the owner of The Zucker Law Firm PLLC, located just outside the Capital Beltway in Annandale, within five miles of the City of Fairfax, the county seat of beautiful Fairfax County, Virginia. The firm focuses mainly on estate planning services for Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania clientele, and seeks to do so in an affordable and approachable way. People interested in learning more can contact Scott by phone or email.

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