My 21 Favorite Estate Planning Insults and Comebacks

December 2, 2012
You used to be so cocky My 21 Favorite Estate Planning Insults and Comebacks

“What are you but a warped, frustrated young man?”  ZING!!! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When you achieve a certain level of success in estate planning law, complaining about the billboards, the yachts, the keys to the cities, the authorized (and unauthorized) documentaries about your life, etc. seems a bit petty.

Then again, the naysayers can be quite annoying.  You know, the jealous types who seem to thrive on bringing down the super-sensational yet unassuming societal icon.

Still, I have to admit that this group can occasionally come up with a funny line or two.  Here are 21 of my favorites that I’ve heard during my career travels, be they in the office, around the water cooler, or while waving to throngs of fans standing along the red carpet amidst a sea of flashing cameras just prior to one of my stadium-filling lectures:

  1. Yo’ momma is an intentionally defective grantor trust!
  2. This estate plan is great – so great I just saw it in a book last week.  Now close your mouth, ‘cause you cold busted!
  3. Your Pourover Will was a hamster and your trust smelt of elderberries!
  4. Your Durable Power of Attorney uses a springing power?  How gouche!
  5. “Rhett, I don’t know what the lifetime exemption is going to be next year!  Where shall I go?  What shall I do?”  “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
  6. “He left me nothing in his will?!  OH NO HE DI’INT!”
  7. When it all boils down and you remove all the hullabaloo, this clause not only violates the Rule Against Perpetuities but it also violates the Rules of Good Sense – need some aloe for that burn?
  8. Oh yeah?  Why don’t you take your QTIP trust and stick it in your ear!
  9. Exordium Clause, Shmexordium Clause!
  10. Your dependent relevant revocation is irrelevant … and independent!
  11. No, the difference between “latent ambiguity” and “patent ambiguity” is more than just the spelling.  Come on man, THINK!
  12. This pet trust is fit for a king – Here, King!  Here, King!
  13. You’ve written the will to pay debts and taxes out of the residuary?  Why not just pay them out of the leprechaun’s pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
  14. “You’re drunk!”  “Well your will drafting is atrocious, and I’ll be sober in the morning.”
  15. My dog could write a better trust, and my dog’s writing lacks refinement!
  16. You velo-bound this crap?
  17. This living will is so ugly, I could push it into dough and make gorilla cookies!
  18. Who’s the greater fool?  The fool who creates the estate plan or the fool that follows him?
  19. “I’ve seen apes write a better estate plan!”  “Well I’m glad to see you went to your family reunion.”
  20. Your proposed irrevocable trust is so out of date that it doesn’t even contain trust protector or decanting language, and this is especially concerning given that your state has recently passed laws allowing each!
  21.  “What’s the difference between your estate planning blog and large-print books?”  “Large-print books are readable.”


 My 21 Favorite Estate Planning Insults and Comebacks
 My 21 Favorite Estate Planning Insults and Comebacks


Scott R. Zucker, Esq. is the owner of The Zucker Law Firm PLLC, located just outside the Capital Beltway in Annandale, within five miles of the City of Fairfax, the county seat of beautiful Fairfax County, Virginia. The firm focuses mainly on estate planning services for Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania clientele, and seeks to do so in an affordable and approachable way. People interested in learning more can contact Scott by phone or email.

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2 Responses to My 21 Favorite Estate Planning Insults and Comebacks

  1. December 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    Heh, heh. #16 is my favorite.
    Krysteena recently posted..Cyber Monday Deals | Plant City Photographer

    • Scott
      December 3, 2012 at 5:33 pm


      I see that you are a photographer, so I imagine you can appreciate that no level of collating or editing is going to make bad copy into something acceptable! :)

      Thanks again for stopping by!

      Take care,

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